July 4th, 2017

Patriots Beat Redcoats!

July 4, 1776. Boston

In a major upset, the United States of America Patriots beat the British Redcoats to win their own country.

Led by QB George Washington, the Patriots came together as a team to stun the heavily favored Redcoats.

Offensive coordinator Thomas Jefferson, who wrote the American playbook, called a great game. 

RB Paul Revere was unstoppable, seemingly able to know where the British were coming from and finding open holes at will. 

WR Patrick Henry not only caught every pass thrown his way, but was the vocal leader of the team as well, telling his teammates to "give me the ball, or give me death."

On the defensive side, Patriots LB James Madison was a force for which the Redcoats had no answer. Plus, his wife Dolly made great cupcakes for the team to enjoy after the game.

Said Patriots head coach Benjamin Franklin, "We simply outplayed the Redcoats on both offense and defense, and kicked their butts."

Redcoats WR Benedict Arnold, who formerly played for the Patriots, was held to no catches.